


Chain Reaction

by littleb0d



Series: Lord Greg and His Boys AU [25]
Category: British Comedy RPF, Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
Genre: Aftercare, Cuddling, D/s, Femdom, Making Out, Multi, Sally stealing Greg's boys, Seduction, Teasing, Threesomes, bratty submissives, max is an idiot, one-night stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22034419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleb0d/pseuds/littleb0d
Summary: What happens in Madrid, stays in Madrid. Until it doesn’t. This the one where Max gets more than they bargained for…
Relationships: (background) Joe Lycett/Noel Fielding/Max (OC), Greg Davies/Sally Phillips/Max
Series: Lord Greg and His Boys AU [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1302947
Kudos: 6





	Chain Reaction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sashataakheru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/gifts).



> Thank you sm to Sasha for letting me join in with this AU <333 Max is a bratty punk idiot and I'm so happy to inflict them upon everyone >:3  
> This takes place some time after Home.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Come  _ on _ , Noel. You’ve been in there for ten minutes,” said a voice from beyond the bathroom door.

“You can’t rush art,” he said, finishing up his eyeliner. He eventually opened the door to a disgruntled Max, who wore a simple white shirt with a gold bow-tie. They could be smart when they wanted to be. “Sometimes I don’t know who’s worse,” they said, “You or Joe.” 

“Oi, I heard that!” Joe shouted from the living room.

“Definitely him,” Noel stage-whispered. 

Max laughed into their hand. “You look great, by the way.” It was true, Noel was the epitome of a goth prince with his ruffled shirt and black velvet jacket. 

The two of them made their way over to Joe, who was decked out in another one of his outrageous bomber jackets. And it was well and truly bedazzled. “You look like a disco ball,” said Max. 

“Are you saying I look fat?” said Joe, voice rising with indignation. 

“No, you idiot. I’m saying you look sparkly. Like a disco ball.”

Joe smoothed out his ruffled feathers. “Right. Well. That’s okay then.”

“So everyone’s ready now, yeah?” asked Max.

There were general noises of agreement.

Max looked at Noel, and Noel looked at Max, and the two of them grinned. “Last one to the bus stop is a rotten egg,” Max said.

And then they were out the door, Noel pushing them so they got a head-start. 

“You bastards,” yelled Joe, “That’s cheating!”

*** * * * ***

They all got to Greg’s place at the same time, but Joe huffed like a steam train. It was Alex who opened the door, face pink from all the running about and getting things organised. “Oh, hello, Max,” he said, looking slightly bemused. “You’re a bit early.”

“I thought we’d get here a few minutes early so we could help if needed.”

“Really? Well, I’ll just have to check if that’s okay with Greg.” And he bustled off. 

“You never told me we’d be helping out,” said Joe. He was on the verge of sulking. “And you made me run.”

“It’ll be fun! We might get treats for doing it,” said Noel.

“Fine. But I’m not ruining my nails for  _ anyone _ .”

“Whatever you say, princess,” said Max. 

Joe flipped them off. “You’d better stop being such a little shit or Mummy’s going to punish you so bad—”

Alex returned, with Greg in tow, who said, “For fuck’s sake, are you causing trouble already?”

Max smirked. “Maybe.”

Quick as a flash, Greg yanked them forward by their collar. “Alex said you’re here to help,” he growled, “So fucking act like it or I’ll send you to time out like the awkward brat you are.”

Max swallowed and nodded. He was dead serious. “Yes, sir,” they said.

He let go. “I would say it’s good to see you but…” he said, “That would be a lie.”

They shrank down in their chair. “I’m sorry.”

Greg pulled them into a bone-crushing hug. “It’s great to see you,” he said, giving them a quick kiss. “Best behaviour, remember?”

Max obeyed, for once.

*** * * * ***

The party all went to plan until Max spotted a very familiar leather jacket draped over a chair. Surely, it couldn’t be? She couldn’t be  _ here _ . They had left her behind in Madrid, with only the bruises to show for it. Bruises and scratches and— No. best not to think about it. It was just a coincidence. Lots of people wore leather. (But did they all smell like  _ her _ ?) They glanced around the room and— shit. There she was. Hanging off of Greg’s arm and smiling at him like she could devour him whole. They recognised that look.

Fucking shit. What had they done? Had they gotten between them? Had they become a homewrecker? Yes, they seemed happy. But what if— 

Max decided to take a swift exit before they were spotted or, even worse, connections were made. “My head’s feeling weird, I’m gonna head outside for a bit, okay?”

Noel looked up from his plate of ridiculous canapés. “Sure. You know where to find me.”

And so Max wheeled off, desperately trying not to make eye contact with anyone in the room. Sweaty palms on metal wheels made everything harder, and they cursed themself for taking off their gloves earlier. They managed to escape just as Sally’s laugh trickled across the party. They swallowed the butterflies in their throat and kept moving.

They turned right and kept going until they reached the conservatory. Thankfully the door was still open, allowing a cool breeze to waft through. It made Max shiver, and they hoped it would get their head sorted. What they had said to Noel  _ was _ true, they had begun to feel quite lightheaded. Their heartbeat was all over the place, as if an enthusiastic bongo drummer had taken up residence in their chest. They made it out onto the patio and breathed in the crisp air. “Fuck, that woman is going to be the death of me,” they muttered into the night. The stars declined to offer any further comment.

Max shivered for the second time that evening. It was a one night stand, both parties knew that. But Sally was lightning in a bottle, a force of nature. There was something about her that Max couldn’t get enough of ever since they had locked eyes in that sweaty bar in Madrid. Cocktails were exchanged, and the night soon gave way to simmering pleasure and tangled sheets. They closed their eyes and tried to block out the memories of skin on skin, searing kisses, and all the dirty little things Sally had whispered. And the filthier ones she had done. She certainly wasn’t subtle, that was for sure. 

“Hola, stranger,” said a voice from behind and Max spun around to face the woman herself. They swallowed a lump in their throat. Sally was dressed in a white shirt, black pinstripe trousers, and a  _ corset _ . A black, leather corset. Her blonde hair was loose and wild, just like her. Max’s brain short-circuited. Yes, she was well aware of the effect she was having. “Fancy seeing you here,” she continued.

“Um. Hi,” said Max, trying to hide the way their breath caught in their throat. She stepped over the threshold and she sauntered over to them, a shit-eating grin on her face. “Did you really think you could slip away so easily?” she asked, a dangerous edge to her voice.

“What—”

“I’m not blind, you know. I could see that hair of yours a mile away.”

Max gulped, unable to form a single coherent syllable.

“You’re so quiet. Makes a change from all that begging you did.” She stepped closer. Max decided to stare at their knees as a blush crept onto their face.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Max didn’t move a muscle, just to see what would happen. Just to see how many buttons they could press. “Oh, it’s going to be like that, is it?” Her heels clicked across the flagstones and still Max was silent and a smile tugged at their lips. “I said—” Sally got hold of their chin and tilted it so they met her gaze. “—  _ look at me _ .” She was smiling too. It was fiery and regal and if Max wasn’t sitting down, they might have fallen to their knees. But they settled for raising an eyebrow, because they never learned. And it was a last, desperate attempt at maintaining a confident facade. 

Everything crumbled when Sally kissed them and Max felt like a kite caught in a storm. She didn’t hold back and was halfway to straddling their lap within seconds. Max tasted the whiskey on her tongue. Their hands found her waist and gasped as her teeth grazed their lip. She grinned against their mouth and nipped her way up their jawline. When she got to their ear she whispered, “Put the brakes on before we crash into something.”

Sally was right, they were heading straight for Joe’s flowerpots. Max clicked the brakes on. And her mouth found its way to their neck, leaving a trail of red in its wake. She remembered every single one of Max’s weak spots, including that particular one at the base of their neck. She sucked a hickey into it for for good measure, teeth sending sparks down their spine. “Someone’s definitely gonna see that,” said Max.

“That’s the point.”

“I hate you.”

“Then why are you letting me sit on your lap, hm?”

“Because you’re infuriatingly attractive.”

Sally laughed and Max’s brain did a little victory dance. “You haven’t gone and fallen in love with me, have you? That would be very silly.”

“I just think you’re an amazing and slightly terrifying woman, who’s also incredible in bed.”

That earned another laugh. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

And then Sally was back to kissing them again, running her nails through Max’s hair. “I think,” she said as she dotted kisses along their neck, “I rather like the idea of fucking you in that rhododendron bush.”

“What if someone catches us?”

“Then we’ll give them a good show.”

“Please don’t,” said an all-too-familiar voice from behind them, “There’s a perfectly good bed upstairs.” A shadow loomed in the doorway and its name was Greg. He raised a singular, fearsome eyebrow. 

“This isn’t what it looks like,” said Max, feeling like a deer that was about to become roadkill.

“I distinctly heard Sally threatening to destroy my shrubbery.”

Sally had the decency to look slightly sheepish.

“And,” Greg continued, “What have I told you about seducing my boys?”

“Technically speaking,” said Max, already regretting this smartass comment, “I’m not a boy.”

Greg looked at Sally, and Sally looked at Greg, and Max looked down at the ground, hoping it would swallow them whole. It did not. 

That moment hung suspended in time. 

Greg was doing The Look.

Max’s soul attempted to leave their body.

They had never felt more turned on in their life. 

And then Greg burst into  _ giggles _ . The more he tried to stop it, the worse it became. He was soon reduced to side-splitting laughter. “You two,” he said after he had finished doubling over, “Are absolutely incorrigible. I don’t know why I bother, sometimes.”

“What,” said Max.

“I’m sure we could think of a way to… compromise,” said Sally. She turned to Max, a wicked glint in her eye.

_ Oh.  _

Max looked between them: Greg with his eyebrows raised in an unspoken question, and Sally grinning like the cat who got the cream. Their last remaining brain cells imploded.

They nodded.

“Very well,” said Greg, “But first you’ll have to wait. I  _ am _ the host of this party, you know. I have guests to attend to.”

Max nodded again, trying to maintain a milligram of composure. It was going to be a very long night judging by the way Sally moved a hand onto their thigh. 

*** * * * ***

Max felt like they had been hit by a freight train. In fact, make that two. Two very competitive freight trains. A dull ache throbbed through every fibre of their being, but it was better than before thanks to Greg’s rub down. It was a satisfied, happy feeling. They gave a content little sigh and nuzzled further into the pillow. “Ow,” said the pillow.

They cracked open an eye and found out that their pillow was, in fact, Greg, who said, “You just headbutted me.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s alright, sleepy head.” There was only warmth in Greg’s eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“Like a pile of very happy jelly.”

“Are you sure we didn’t go too far?”

Max smiled up at him. “Positive. I’m pretty sure you gave me beard burn on my legs. Thanks for that.”

“And here I was, thinking that you’d be too tired for any cheek.”

“No chance, old man.”

Greg pressed a kiss to their temple and said, “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He pulled Max closer, almost cocooning them in his giant arms.

“Where’s Sally?” asked Max.

“She’s probably in the shower or raiding my fridge.”

Max hummed with content and drifted.

Eventually, they asked, “What’s the story with you two, anyway?”

“Well, we were betrothed as teenagers as we’re both from decent families. But neither of us are the marrying type — Sally’s too much of a loose cannon for any of that and I’m… unconventional at best. She always comes back from her travels once in a while. We still love each other, just not in the way society expects us to. And now I have my boys to keep me busy.”

“You two are such a power couple, honestly.”

“We certainly kept you occupied, didn’t we?” It was Sally, wearing nothing but a red silk dressing gown. She leant against the doorframe, hair going every which way, and Max thought she had never looked more beautiful. “I genuinely have no idea how you’re still standing,” they said.

“Years and years of practice, darling,” she said, sauntering over.

“Yeah, don’t forget,” Greg added, “We’ve been doing this a lot longer than you.”

Sally clambered onto the bed so she was directly above Max and said, “So we know every trick in the book.” She winked and drew them into a lazy kiss, and it was just as heartstopping as the first time. Her mouth roamed over her previous work, and got reacquainted before she decided that enough was enough and settled down next to them. Greg reached across and placed a gentle kiss on her hand. And in that moment, Max didn’t want to be anywhere else.

It was almost perfect, it just needed something else…

“Greg?” they asked.

“Yes?”

“Can I have a hot chocolate? Please?”

“Ooh, that sounds like a lovely idea,” said Sally. 

Greg looked between the two of them, sighed, and said, “Only because it’s you two. Do  _ not  _ get any ideas, Max.”

Max widened their eyes with faux innocence. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Sally swatted their shoulder, a smile threatening to break free. Greg simply rolled his eyes and went downstairs.

Sally curled around Max and carded her hands through their hair, her nails sometimes sending darts of pleasure down their spine. “What are you thinking about?” they asked her.

“How I’m going to tell you that I have to leave in the morning…”

“That’s okay, I kinda expected that. You’re a busy lady after all.”

“Believe me, I would’ve loved to stay longer but I have a flight to catch.”

Max snuggled in closer and said, “Then we’ll just have to make the most of it, won’t we?”

Sally kissed their forehead just as Greg was coming in with a tray of mugs. He beamed at them, wondering how he had come so far. 

*** * * * ***

The morning after seemed to stretch on into golden infinity and everything was nicely blurred at the edges, as if someone had put a diffusion filter on reality for a bit. Max couldn’t help but feel sad as Sally packed up her things, but they knew they were bound to cross paths again. The minutes passed, as they tend to do, and Greg declared that it was breakfast time. He was more than happy to carry Max downstairs and put them in their wheelchair before he padded off to get Sally. Max found Alex beetling around the kitchen already. He hummed a little tune to himself and added a couple more rashers of bacon to the pan. “Good morning, sir— I mean, Max. Did you, er, sleep well?”

“Something like that,” said Max, quirking an eyebrow.

Alex gave a little cough, his ears going pink. “Yes, well—”

Greg came in, followed by Sally, and said, “Stop tormenting Alex, you little rascal.” 

“Sorry, boss. I keep forgetting that’s your job.”

Alex’s face got even redder and he dropped the spatula with a  _ clunk _ . Sally laughed and Greg simply rolled his eyes.

When breakfast was over and done with, it was time for Sally to leave.

Every golden autumn leaf stood out against the stark blue of the sky. Although the year was turning, summer still bled through the crisp air. Max (wrapped in a blanket) and Greg (in a dressing gown) followed Sally to where her motorbike was parked. It was a Harley-Davidson, of course it was. Max approved, even though she needed no such thing. 

“So,” said Sally, “This is where I say adieu. I wish I could stay longer, but I have people to do and things to see.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from my Countess,” said Greg, holding her face in his hands. They kissed, and it was a slow, nostalgic thing. If it had a colour, it would be lavender. 

It was Max’s turn to say goodbye next, they had no idea how it would pan out but they never expected Sally’s kiss to be quite so fiery. “Stay out of trouble, my dear,” she said.

Max blushed at the endearment. “I— um…” they stuttered and tried again. “Thank you for being so—  _ you _ .”

“Who else could I be? Before I forget— ” Sally produced a scrap of paper from her leather jacket. “ —here’s my number. Call me sometime.” She winked.

“Oh, er, thanks.”

“I can take it back if you like.”

“No, no, that’s not— I just… wasn’t expecting it.”

“I thought that’s what people did when they liked each other.”

“You—  _ oh _ . Okay.” Max looked slightly dumbstruck.

Greg ruffled their hair. “You silly sausage.”

Sally laughed and Max’s stomach did a backflip. Oddly enough, they weren’t jealous of her other lovers — in fact, it sort of thrilled them. It was the idea that she could be discovering new ways to pull them to pieces when she returned. But it wouldn’t stop them from missing her, just a little bit. 

She got on her motorbike, pulled on her helmet, and then she was off, leaving only a two-fingered salute and a cloud of dust in her wake. Nothing changed, really. The sun still shone, the birds still chirped, the world still turned. Max wondered who would be next to come across that whirlwind of a woman. 

“She’s extraordinary,” they said.

“Tell me about it, she still amazes me even after all these years,” Greg replied, putting a hand on their shoulder. “Tea?” he asked.

“Tea.”


End file.
